从小学开始写作文时,老师就教导我们要做到语言简洁有力、结构严谨,这说起来容易做起来难。尤其是对于写手们来讲,用英语写作达到简洁且严谨,难上加难。写手在国外接触比较多的就是essay写作,essay写作中同样要注意句子表达要简洁严谨。但是很多写手英文水平本来就不好,这样在写作时候,自然会出现各种句子冗长的问题,今天我们就带大家了解一下如何使essay写作中句子表达更加简洁严谨。
1.滥用副词及形容词
不少人很喜欢用形容词以及副词来加强语气,但大多数情况下这些词都用不好,加强句意的目的达不到,反而造成了表意重复。举几个典型例子:
(1)Admittedly,the governments play a vitally important role in taking precautions against environmental destruction and combat pollution.
(2)Furthermore,using cutting-edged technology,the high-tech companies could produce energy-saving equipment that reduces unrestrained exploitation of natural resources.
(3)As a resident of our beautiful planet,everyone can easily make an effort to improve the environment.First,environmental problems stem from our daily life,such as wasting water resources,dropping litter carelessly and excessive deforestation.Thus,only when individuals attach great importance to environmental protection,can we completely eradicate those problems.
上面片段1中,作者为了强调政府的作用,使用了play a vitally important role这一表达。其中vitally属于赘词,因为它的含义与后面的important有重复。如果是为了强调政府作用之大,可以直接写成play a vital role.
在片段2中,unrestrained exploitation同样属于赘词,exploitation在此处的含义是The act of employing to the greatest possible advantage,单词本身已经带有“极端,不受控制”这一层含义,并不需要再加一个形容词来强调。
在片段3中,dropping litter carelessly and excessive deforestation也带有冗余成分。并没有人在“认真地”乱丢垃圾,因此carelessly可以删除,同样,deforestation本身就带有“过量”的含义(deforestation:the act or result of cutting down or burning all the trees in an area),因此excessive也可以删去。后面的completely eradicate也是相同的道理,eradicate本身带有“彻底”的含义,所以可以删除completely.
这种过度使用副词和形容词的现象与汉语表达习惯有关。在汉语中我们经常会通过重复用词来加强语气。观察一下这些常用词,你会发现它们前半部分和后半部分表达的是相同的意思:自言自语,无缘无故,兴高采烈,大红大紫,成双成对……但是这种表达习惯套用在英语写作上就容易造成冗余,这也是母语“负迁移”的影响之一。
避免重复用词的一个方法是查词典。对于不确定的词,要仔细查看它在词典中对应的英英释义和例句,避免与前面的修饰词发生表意重叠。
2.避免重复使用同一词语
为了使表达更生动,更富表现力,同学们在写作时应尽量避免重复使用同一词语来表示同一意思,尤其是一些老生常谈的词语。如有的同学一看到“喜欢”二字,就会立刻想起like,事实上,英语中表示类似意思的词和短语很多,如love,enjoy,prefer,appreciate,be fond of,care for等。如:
I like reading while my brother likes watching television.
→I like reading while my brother enjoys watching television.
我喜欢看书,而我的兄弟却喜欢看电视。
3.句子表意重复
句子表意重复问题更为常见,它的常见形式是在一个句子里面使用不同的表达形式来说明一个相同的信息。比如我在怎样写一篇作文?(3)里面分析过的一个句子:
Leaving the parental nest and living in the halls of residence in other cities can develop undergraduates'independence.
其中living in the halls of residence in other cities与前面的Leaving the parental nest表意重复,可以保留一个。
还有上面的一个句子:
Admittedly,the governments play a vitally important role in taking precautions against environmental destruction and combat pollution.
其中combat pollution已经包含在前面的taking precautions against environmental destruction里面,应该删去一个。
4.适当运用非谓语结构
非谓语结构通常被认为是一种高级结构,适当运用非谓语结构,会给人一种熟练驾驭语言的印象。如:
(1)When he heard the news,they all jumped for joy.
→Hearing the news,they all jumped for joy.
听了这消息他们都高兴得跳了起来。
(2)As I didn’t know her address,I wasn’t able to get in touch with her.
→Not knowing her address,I wasn’t able to get in touch with her.
由于不知道她的地址,我没法和她联系。
(3)As he was born into a peasant family,he had only two years of schooling.
→Born into a peasant family,he had only two years of schooling.
他出生农民家庭,只上过两年学。
5.结合使用长句与短句
在英语写作中,过多地使用长句或过多地使用短句都不好。正确的做法是,根据实际情况在文章中交替使用长句与短语,使文章显得错落有致,这样不仅使文章在形式上增加美感,而且使文章读起来铿锵有力。如:
At noon we had a picnic lunch in the sunshine.Then we had a short rest.Then we began to play happily.We sang and danced.Some told stories.Some played chess.
→At noon we had a picnic lunch in the sunshine.After a short rest,we had great fun singing and dancing,telling jokes and playing chess.
中午我们晒着太阳吃野餐。休息一会儿后,我们唱的唱歌,跳的跳舞,还有的讲笑话、下棋,大家玩得很开心。
6.综合使用各类所谓的“高级”结构。
(1)Now everyone knows the news.I think Jim must have let it out.
→Now everyone knows the news.I think it must have been Jim who has let it out.
现在人人都知道这消息了,我想一定是吉姆把它泄露出去的。
(2)We had to stand there to catch the offender.
→What we had to do was(to)stand there,trying to catch the offender.
我们所能做的只是站在那儿,设法抓住违章者。
(3)If her pronunciation is not better than her teacher’s,it is at least as good as her teacher’s.
→Her pronunciation is as good as,if not better than,her teacher’s.
如果她的语音不比她的老师好的话,至少也不会比她老师的差。
7.适当使用名言警句点缀
在写作时根据实际情况恰当地用上一两句名言警句来点缀文章,不仅使文章显得有深度、有智慧,而且会让文章在评分中上一个“得分档次”。如:
(1)As the proverb says,“Where there is a will,there is a way.”Though you fail this time,you needn’t lose heart.As long as you work hard and stick to your dream,you will succeed one day.
(2)There is a proverb goes like this“Life isn’t a bed of roses.”It is ture that it is likely for everyone to meet problems and difficulties in life.
(3)In the modern world,more and more people live alone,which is not so good for our life.It is better for us to make more friends and enjoy friendship.Just as a proverb says,“A near friend is better than a far-dwelling kinsman.”
在写作essay前,我们一定要明白自己是想要表达什么意思,根据自己的想法来进行描述,去除一些与句意无关的内容。只有了解了足够多的信息才可以做出判断,写出好的文章。平时要注意多进行进行一些阅读和写作,积累一定的写作经验,这样就可以不断提升个人思维能力,提高写作essay的水平。