很多写手在代写作业的时候认为:用词华丽,句型结构复杂,就是好表达。这样,才能够充分体现出自己的语言驾驭能力。但是使用长句真的好吗?
下文小编就告诉大家滥用长句的一些情况,希望大家要引以为戒。
滥用从句
好的英文中所追求的不是复杂而是简洁(concise)和高效(effective)。
大文豪,George Orwell曾对这两点做了细致的解读,总结了核心写作原则,下面罗列了最重要,也是最常被忽略其中3条:
1 Never use a long word where a short one will do.短
2 If it is possible to cut out a word,always cut it out.删
3 Never use the passive where you can use active.主
根据这三条写作规则,会发现刚刚下面这个华丽的句子会有很多问题。
The Great Wall is so marvelous that travellers,no matter where they come from,are always fascinated by such great magnificence.
1.Marvelous,magnificence语意重复
2.ravellers,no matter where they come from,表达刻意复杂化,可以用词组travellers from home and broad.
3.travellers are always fascinated by such great magnificence.在已知主语的情况下,一般采用主动形式,因为主动表达更简洁:The marvelous Forbidden city fascinates.
所以根据concise&effective的原则这句话完全可以精简为:
The marvelous Great Wall city fascinates travellers from home and broad.
看到这里,同学可能会有困惑。既然英文中这么强调简洁,为什么老师们经常会要求我们写从句?全篇用简单句启不是最简洁的方式?
针对这两个问题,需要弄清两个概念:
首先,简洁并不等于简单。
其次,从句的使用并不是让句子变得复杂,而是让句子变得更加简洁。
例如:Those principles are forever remembered in the last portion of his epitaph.The epitaph could easily have read“academic visionary for all Americans.”
这两句话中都有epitaph,建议把后句中的epitaph改成which(定语从句),来避免语言的重复,同时把两个简单句浓缩为一个句子,所以达到了简洁但不简单的效果。
Those principles are forever remembered in the last portion of his epitaph,which could easily have read“academic visionary for all Americans.”
再对比之前的Great Wall的句子,会发现这位同学是为了写从句而写从句,导致把简洁的内容变复杂,和英文的习惯表达背道而驰。
The Great Wall is so marvelous that travelers,no matter where they come from,are always fascinated by such great magnificence.best essay writing service on www.lxws.net
VS
The marvelous Great Wall city fascinates travellers from home and broad.
冗余词
除了这种滥用从句的情况,冗余词也是留学生同学们在作业写作中经常会犯的问题。更多留学生写作技巧:essay.lxws.net
例如:
A:to accelerate the pace of economic reform
B:to accelerate economic reform
A:We must make an improvement in our work.
B:We must improve in our work.
加红部分完全是中式英语表达,删除对句意没有任何影响。按照之前George Orwell所说:If it is possible to cut out a word,always cut it out.在写作文时,把这些冗余词去除,才是地道的表达。
Joan Pinkham写过一本The Translator’s Guide to Chinglish/《中式英语之鉴》,里面总结了典型的Chinglish。
其中对于冗余词,她非常幽默地做了点评。Unnecessary words add no more to the meaning of the sentence than a cough.The writer is merely clearing his throat before he comes to the points.他生动地把冗词比作人在说话前的咳嗽声。所以作为作者要少咳嗽,言简意赅,直抒胸臆,才能吸引读者。
句中缺少逻辑连接词
另一个,在表达中容易忽略的细节-缺少逻辑连接词。同样也是在《中式英语之鉴》中,Pinkham一针见血地指出中英文之间的差异:Chinese readers understand a text without these clues,but native speakers of English need and expect more help from the writer.因为母语的习惯,导致我们不爱用逻辑词,但在英文中,他们则是句子的重要粘合剂。
这三种情况就是我们留学生在论文作业写作表达中,常犯错误,同学在之后的练习中尽量避免。
最后
再次强调写作的核心:简洁(concise)+高效(effective),以它们为标准,来规范自己的表达。